Counting Blessings after a complicated loss...

I'm feeling melancholy today... my mom got a call today that her mother has died. Though my maternal grandmother has lived less than an hour's distance most of my life, I've only spent time with her a handful of times.  She left my mom's family of 5 kids when they were all young; the divorce was finalized on my mom's, the eldest child, 12th birthday.  She moved on to create a new life for herself, and it doesn't appear to have been any happier a life. Perhaps the grass isn't greener on the other side; the grass is greener where you feed and water it.

Chatting with a dear friend this afternoon, she gave me some words of wisdom.  This is a complicated loss... though I may not be grieving the loss of a warm grandmother who was an active part of my life, I'm grieving the absence of her role in my life.  And that absence was her choice.

So, as I mull over the other losses I've endured, I'm led to count my blessings.  I've been inspired by Ann Voskamp's list of gratitude that she posts at on her blog weekly.

1. My husband who loves me and makes me laugh.  Though far from a perfect marriage, I think we have an honest love and respect for one another.

2. My son - my freckle-faced, passionate boy.  At age 9 and 3/4 he amazes me.  He's so completely obsessed with sports, with facts, with excelling in everything he tries.  I love that he sits, by his own choice, and reads his Bible with me, while I read mine, every morning.

3. My daughter - my sparkling, spunky, surprisingly delightful 7 year old girl. I love her easy nature, her complete carefree-ness in regards to time constraints, her imagination and her sense of humour.  The art work she produces, and the stories she tells always make me proud. Her quick hugs, sneaky kisses and amazing shoulder rubs make me smile.

4. My parents.  My mom has been a terrific mom, though she did not have a great role model in her own mom.  I so appreciate the sacrifices she has made for my sister and I, and our children.  My mom shows her love in practical ways, and I am so grateful she loves me.  My dad had always been the one I talk problems over with, or shared my dreams for the future with. I appreciate that he is still a good listener. I'm so thankful that almost seven years ago they found the joy of knowing Jesus in faith as we do.  Watching this new life in them has brought so much JOY!

5. My In-laws.  I am so glad I married into a wonderful, warm, Christian family.  I love that they are solid, honest people with much love to share. I love that they live on a farm in a small town.  They share a love of people, of serving others and of offering hospitality.  I love it when they are in my home, and I love it when I can spend time in theirs.  Even though there is a great distance, my mom-in-law is the grandmother to my children that I always wished I had.

6. My sister, my husband's siblings and the people they married.  I really could not be more blessed in the sister I was given.  Though I was Miss Bossy-Pants growing up (and maybe even sometimes still today), she has always been kind and gracious, the original sparkling-eyed Twinkletoes.  Mark's 2 sisters and 2 brothers have brought so many fun moments into my life.  I love our competitive board game nights, vacations together, the food we share and doing life together. I love every one of their kids too!

7. My friends.  Here is where I count myself so blessed... that I would have the privilege of knowing so many amazing people, and get to call them my friends.  What an honour to have them share their big moments in life with me, or the sad ones.  I'm so grateful for the homegroup that we've established, that we have a committed group of friends to walk through life honestly with.

8. Our church.  Though it's been tricky watching our church grow and try new things, I'm so grateful for this place of worship, for the leaders and real people that give their time there to help me, to help others understand how much God loves us and that He calls us to show that love in practical ways.  I'm thankful that I've been given the opportunity to take on different roles of leadership in this church and learn SO much!

9. This home.  We talk about moving, a LOT, but I'm thankful for this place where we've scrubbed and
painted and built and weeded to make a home.  Whether we move, or stay, may it not be the structure, but our intentional choices that make home a warm, inviting place for our family and our guests.

10. Teaching.  I teach 6th grade at a middle school, I teach 2-5 year olds at church, I sometimes have opportunities to teach adults, one-on-one or in a larger setting.  I have been so blessed by this gifting.  I see God's hand on my life so clearly in moments when I'm teaching.  I pray that I would be a good teacher, that I would illuminate and not extinguish.  I pray that I would offer hope and never discouragement. I'm so grateful that teaching has led to this curriculum project for our church.  I want to please my Father in Heaven with what He has entrusted to me.

Well - my first 10 blessings (though really a much greater multitude).  I do feel better. Even though there is one loss I'm feeling today, there is so much to be grateful for.

God, investigate my life; get all the facts firsthand.

I'm an open book to you;
even from a distance, you know what I'm thinking.
You know when I leave and when I get back;
I'm never out of your sight.
You know everything I'm going to say
before I start the first sentence.
I look behind me and you're there,
then up ahead and you're there, too—
your reassuring presence, coming and going.
This is too much, too wonderful—
I can't take it all in!
Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit?
to be out of your sight?
If I climb to the sky, you're there!
If I go underground, you're there!
If I flew on morning's wings
to the far western horizon,
You'd find me in a minute—
you're already there waiting!
Then I said to myself, "Oh, he even sees me in the dark!
At night I'm immersed in the light!"
It's a fact: darkness isn't dark to you;
Night and day, darkness and light, they're all the same to you.
Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
you formed me in my mother's womb.
I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration—what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
All the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
before I'd even lived one day.
Your thoughts—how rare, how beautiful!
God, I'll never comprehend them!
I couldn't even begin to count them—
any more than I could count the sand of the sea.
Psalm 139:1-18

I have to share the good laugh I had the other day... it still makes me chuckle.
The husband was on the phone with his far-away sister.  We're going to be spending Christmas with her, and M. started to tell his beloved, older sister all the food he wants her to cook: Her amazing peanut butter squares, her Heavenly Bars, her yummy turkey with extra stuffing... isn't he a brat?

I was in the same room, listening to his half of the conversation, when the tone of his voice changed, and the expression on his face was one of incredulity: his sister told him that they were now a vegan household, hadn't we heard?  She explained that the diet was much better for her husband (he has a challenging health condition), and therefore we will not be enjoying Turkey this year at Christmas.  She carried on to explain the great health benefits of eating lots of vegetables and salads - and M. bought it all!

M. began to quiz her on what she eats at breakfast, lunch and dinner.  He tried to convince her that we should still be allowed to have Turkey, not Tofurkey!  Finally she confessed she was joking! 
I'm so glad she put him in his place!

A child's faith

I sit here tonight - a full 6 months since I last posted on my blog.  It's funny, I write almost every day in my journal, I write curriculum for Sunday School and family devotions, and facebook status updates.  I just haven't been so good at writing here - and here is where I want to chronicle my family.

At church today they showed video highlights from our church denomination's Kids Camp the boy attended in August.  It prompted a memory, and I need to write it down.  J. was very excited and nervous about camp.  The husband had attended with him last year as a counsellor, but could not get the week off from work, hard as he tried.  J. was super excited about his counsellor when we arrived: a super young man from our church who we admire tremendously. J. also had many of his buddies in his cabin - and attended all the scheduled activities with his buddies from our church plant.

On the day of camp pick-up, the husband was out-of-town, so driving home was just the boy, the girl and I.  The boy talked all about the fun things, and then about the spiritual... I asked him if he had heard from God.  He said, "Yes.  Mom, I was baptized with the Holy Spirit and I started to speak in tongues."  (Our denomination is somewhat charismatic, but not overtly).  I asked him how he felt about that, was he nervous?
"No, mom, I was so excited!  I really felt the Spirit moving.  And I feel like God has told me that my ability and passion for soccer, and music are gifts."

The boy went on to describe how he wants to be able to honour God through soccer, and how he really knows he shouldn't complain about piano lessons.  He has also been reading his Bible pretty consistently through August, and that continued through camp, and the 3 weeks since he's returned home.

The other night I got home from a late night of teaching, and the boy was still awake, reading his Bible.  He's doing a "read-through the Bible in a year" plan that he has in his "Bedroom Bible College" book by Gregg Johnson.  So, he's been reading Ezekial - totally clear, age appropriate reading for a nine year old!  He summarized the book.... "Mom, it just keeps saying, 'Son of Man, tell the people of Jerusalem you're off track! You're not doing what I've asked of you.  Return to Me and my ways!'"  He also said his sister came in and sat on his bed, and asked him to read to her from his Bible.  The boy refused.  He said "Mom, it just seemed like I shouldn't read it.  The people were sacrificing their children to another God.  I think she's too young to hear that story yet."  We agreed that sometimes the Bible is NOT a pretty book, but it is still important to read.

I am blown away... I've been praying that my children would know Jesus, and have a solid faith of their own.  I LOVE that my freckled-face boy is passionate and committed to reading God's word every day, of his own accord.  May it continue to be his habit, and passion, for life. 

Our first Olympic event

The girl and I had a wonderful time at the Olympics! We had tickets for the Pairs Short Program figure skating, on Valentine's Day.  We dressed in our Red Canada wear, complete with Red Mittens. It was a gorgeous, sunny, warm day.  We arrived at the venue 2 hours early (we're a bit eager!), and enjoyed just soaking in the atmosphere, and meeting folks from out of town.

The girl was thrilled to finally get her favourite Olympic (unofficial) mascot: Mukmuk. Apparently he's just a sidekick... The boy and the girl have had many heated discussions about the exact role of Quatchie, Miga, Sumi and Mukmuk.

The Skating itself was awesome! We cheered and clapped when skaters did well, and said "awww" or gasped when someone fell.  We cheered for good marks, and booed when we didn't like the rankings. The event was 3 1/2 hours to watch 20 pairs skate. The Chinese were very strong - and the couple that captured Gold the next night were very experienced, having just returned from retirement. (last pic). Our favourites were the Russian pair (well, she's actually Japanese), who skated to Swan Lake. It was beautiful!

Olympic Torch Relay - February 11, 2001

The day before the 2010 Winter Olympics started, the torch relay came through our town.
We were there at 7:15 am to get ready. Wearing red (Paint the town red campaign), our olympic red mitts and maple leaf tatoos on our faces, we were there to celebrate with THOUSANDS of people in the early morning rain.

Mark and the kids staked out their spots, and I and my class were on the bandshell stage. We waved our own torches while everyone sang O Canada, then sat in front of the choir while they sang an african song of peace.

We were then moved to line the path up to the stage where the torch was to be passed.

We cheered as the torch arrived in the square! In the 3rd photo you can see the 2 flames of the torches in the centre of the shot.

Finally, Dave Kam left for his short leg of the very long relay!

Click here to read more about the 106 day Torch relay.

You know it's Monday when.... (or why my kids were late for school today).

Usually Mondays are great days... I get the kids off to school, throw some laundry in, do some exercise, then eat breakfast and write.

Today, however, has not started off great - and it's only 10 o'clock!
You know your day is screaming "IT'S MONDAY!!!" when, 15 minutes before getting the children/cherubs off to school, the boy lets the dog into the kitchen from outside, and realizes that the dog has tracked poo into and all over the house.  The boy calls the dog and tries to chase her to catch her - the dog runs through the living room, into the girl's room, into my room - then hides under MY BED!  There are gobs of poo through the kitchen, under an end table in the living room, down the hall, in the girl's room and in my room.

The house stinks. The dog will NOT come out from under the bed. I am still in my PJ's, the girl is not dressed either. This does not look good. I quickly dress, grab a whole roll of paper towels, disinfectant and a garbage bag. With the dog now locked in my room, I proceed to clean up the messes I can find.  The girl wanders into my room and entices the dog out. She gets a hold of her and hangs on until I arrive.  Gross! There is poo stuck to my dog's butt. Gagging, I realize that the only solution is a bath - with 8 minutes until I should  be getting the kids out the door.

I get the dog into the laundry sink, hold her with one hand while I search the nearby drawer for the dog soap.  Crap! (literally - aren't you following along?) Dear hubby cleaned out this drawer, and I now have no idea where dog soap is.  The boy quickly finds doggie shampoo in the upstairs cupboard and runs it down.  Bathe dog, and she, sensing my mounting annoyance, cooperates fully for the first time.

While I am tending to the dog downstairs, the girl is trying to dress herself upstairs. However, she wants to wear a skirt and tights - and still can't get tights on without assistance. I send the boy up to please help his sister, but he really has no clue on the mysteries of getting tights on either.  Finally finish bathing & drying dog - lock her in her crate.  Dash back upstairs to assist daughter and brush her hair, and pile kids into the minivan.  The time on the clock shows that the bell rang 5 minutes ago - not bad. I thought we were much further behind.

I return home to wash every floor in my home. Finally let dog out of her crate and feed her breakfast. She gives me the "I"m sorry mommy" look. I never intended to be called the dog's "mom" - her real mother is a Shi Tzu-Poodle. Then it dawned on me: I have a Shit-Poo for a pet. How could I not expect moments like this?

Pic of me, the boy, the girl and Millie Twinkletoes, the offender.